The bare bones: off with the seat cover, right down to the springs.

This is what it looks like now. Do admit…

Covered, sprung, lined, stuffed, buttoned and very pleased with itself

My new one is to recover a posh Louis Quinze (ah oui!) chair for a trusting friend.

revolting cover, stapled piping, stains and lumps - but wait till I've had a go!

I shall post pix as I progress – sorry, but it is such a delight to do it.  Out with magnetic hammer and chiselly thing, and bang bang pop go the horrid little tacks.

Thursday is to be my craft day – I am doing both upholst. and trying my hand at dressmaking (School report c. 1967: Sylvia does not enjoy it). I have also taken to knitting again and made three woolly hats for the young men in my family for Christmas – gratifyingly enthusiastic reception, esp as to my own design.

But can I keep this up?  Too creative for words, and a girl has to eat…

Not to sound like Thought for the Day, this is a great one, isn’t it?  Unless you have no friends, in which case it is like Christmas, defined by one person as the Too Much followed by the  Too Long. I concur – thank Heavens it’s over.

The dreary adding up of overspending is now upon us all; my resolution therefore is to spend time with friends cheaply – a sandwich and a coffee instead of a bottle of wine and, what the heck, a pudding too. Doesn’t that have the ring of shortlevity to it?

I plan to exercise if I can lumber to the nearest Zumba class – this sounds like mindless fun, and I fancy shaking something that might shrink as the weeks progress.

Twitter is also my new discovery, as I have already blogged about. Wastes – I mean of course passes constructively – the time a treat but also works well for communication among like minds. I enjoy it, although I have not yet mastered the pithy but amusing  amuse bouche style. It will come as I settle in, although I aim to avoid  the over chummy ‘wotcha peeps” or the moment by moment cataloguing of my day.  Watch this space for my thoughts on finding your own writing voice on Twitter and in general.

Oh, and Happy New Year.

I had always thought it something that people who didn’t have much to do (eg Stephen F stuck in lift) did.  But there is a whole subtext that means you spread your word by making people want to know about it.

How true this is of life itself.

Sounds obvious, but it is in fact very subtle, needs work and a bit of thought, and I am not the person to tell you about it in greater detail as I am a new bug.

As far as I can detect, it’s about being yourself and writing so people want to know more about what you are talking about; they will read it if they like you. And if other people like you and like what you like, so they tell their friends and so on. Viral, baby.

Not being a teenager, Facebook just doesn’t do it for me.  E-mail (you know that old fashioned thing that was once the last word in modern oh, a couple of years ago?) does. And I shall stick to that unless I want to advertise how much drain cleaner I dried and put up my nose and what it did to me – always really entertaining, and so useful when applying for a job in a couple of years.

Revenons a nos moutons. I am a bit of a Twitter convert, although I am blocking anyone who bangs on about cake or chocolate. Plain dull, and such a cliche. Sorry but there it is. I’ve said it.

What’s the story?
What’s the news?
What does it have to do with me?
Why should I care?

Use

Leads
Photographs
Quotes
Description, action, emotion

Catch attention with:
Facts:
Witch Cackle, of Norton Spotfold in Hampshire, has discovered a liquid that gets rid of acne with just a drop

Story:
Stirring a casserole in her shed, Witch Cackle dropped some on her spotty daughter’s nose. Immediately, the boil on the end of it dried up and disappeared.

Question:
Is there anything that gets rid of serious teenage acne without leaving scars?

First person:
I thought I could never get rid of my acne. My face was covered in horrible pus-filled spots…

Make it interesting.
Write like people talk.
Which would you read, and believe?

The optimum method of removing detritus from crockery is to manipulate a scrubbing utensil in hot water, with a 10ml application of SqueezyClene

OR

The best way to clean your dishes is to use a squirt of Squezyclene and scrub with a brush.

Remember to include:

* Date
* Logo
* Title
* Headline, followed often with a descriptive subhead that makes the point
* Image(s) if relevant – in jpg format
* A lead para to catch the attention of the reader, then detail in paras that follow, including the facts, customer testimonials, quotes and so on. Make your quotes short, sharp, funny if possible, to the point.
* Contact details and offers of help and information: photographs, interviews, visits etc. Some people, with the web in mind, suggest using relevant keywords which mean that search engines will find it eg, Squeezyclene, washing up, dishes, hot water etc (all words that are directly relevant to the product)

Bonus points to bear in mind:

* Solve a problem / create an opportunity.
* Provide useful information journalists can pass on to their readers
* Point out a trend – more and more women are choosing to stay at home and say they love housework, so Squeezyclene is perfect for them to use: smells lovely, looks charming in its Lalique plastic bottle so enhances any kitchen, cleans dishes so they sparkle.
* Make the journalist’s job easy – where do they get information, more photographs? And make sure you find out when the deadline is if you can.

I have moved house, one of my sons is at university (at last), the other one is being a whirlwind barista at a coffee shop to save for his gap year. I am off to India in two weeks, broken or not, and cannot wait.
BUT I am determined to get writing again. It has somehow faded with all the admin and faddling about, and I confess that I have used excuses where I have found them. But it continues to raise its head, and I am getting on with it. Sad that I have to be physically prevented from reorganising the waste paper basket for the sixth time before getting down to the business. It’s self doubt, frankly. Is it any good? Won’t know till there is something to assess, for God’s sake.

What is regular?

I think that once a week is more than enough for the collected (or uncollected) thoughts of Chairman Howe. I am actually not selling anything except my writing for people to read and I hope enjoy, so a more leisurely r seems entirely appropriate.
So here goes for this episode in the life of a woman of a certain age in the rural fastness of Kent…
My son had his first serious dinner party the other day – 14 people (on and off – I have never heard such comings and goings on the phone) and a delicious menu. I cooked a lot, the girls came with seriously delicious puddings, and then we adults made ourselves scarce when the doorbell rang.
Menu:

1. salmon and watercress souffle, popped on the oven and the pinger left on to remind them.
2. Nigella’s sliced steak with thyme and lemon with potatoes, green veg of all kinds and salad (some brought by guests)
3. puddings and cheese

The boys got really into making highly coloured and beautiful place names which was a delight and when we got back home at about 11, there was a very lively game of hangman going on in the candlelit sitting room. Plenty of noise, alcohol had been consumed to enjoyment but no excess (at least no evidence of it) and the whole ambience was bonhomous, affectionate and fun. We went to bed, emerged  to gently remonstrate an hour later about the decibel level, and people cleared up (sic) and went home. Highly impressive.

Now they are probably all out smoking the grated soles of their shoes behind the bike sheds, but for the moment, this mother is impressed.

One happy moment: ‘Mum, what’s rump?’

‘What?’

“Rump. Meat. Which bit?’

‘Phew!’

I recommend it – it is the second year, and it was very good to look on the internet later (now if you like)  and see the Sydney Harbour Bridge being turned off, followed by other buildings and landmarks: the Acropolis, the Forbidden City, Copacabana Beach.  Irresistible.

Full of sensible advice and suggestions on all sorts of practical stuff – bargains of all kinds, various blogs, the usual money stuff, but also interesting things such as a whole blog on going to festivals for nothing, doing up your home on the cheap and so on. Much of it is common sense, and anyone with a bit of nous with be doing it already but there is encouragement, information and useful websites. The thing is to know what ‘s out there. The rest is easy!

A bit of a double up on the greetings and large expensive present front as it was also Mother’s Day.

I have always told my family I am not keen on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day or Grandfather’s Day but never let it be said I am short on present enthusiasm.

But this present a dilemma that has lasted all my married/ motherly life.  What presents? Practical or whimsical? Planned or serendipitous?

I live in a house with men, one of whom knows more or less what I  mean and the others don’t really see what the fuss is about.  I have said for the last millenium that I would prefer a wonky manky handmade something to a last minute expensive gewgaw, and that the most exciting thing that could happen would be to go on an outing that I knew nothing about – cheap, cheerful, planned – rather than be asked if I wanted to go and see xxx. Of course I want to see xxxx, I just don’t want to know when – surprises, that’s the ticket, and forethought.

The wail of people (mostly women, I suspect) through the ages.

But does this happen?  You’re joking. BUT is it fair to ask?  This is my consistent concern. I admit, it doesn’t fill my every waking minute, but I do try to work it out to everyone’s satisfaction.  Just because I think differently, is it OK for me to want them to follow my requirements? Immediately I feel: of course, one day of the year, I do it for them etc etc but so what? They don’t ask me to do it. O but they like it, I think. Well, not exactly. I once did a (rather wonderful, I have to say) surprise party for my husband which involved different courses at different houses ending in a dancing jamboree. I loved it, thought I was brilliant, enjoyed all the whispering and planning. He really didn’t and asked that it didn’t happen again.  Fair enough, or curmudgeonly?

You see the problem.  Comments please!

Anyhow – we went out for a lovely lunch at The Sportsman at Seasalter, with four friends. Do go – but remember to book. Food fab, air salty and bracing, walk with dogs, met people we had not seen for ten years (and they still recognised me!). Mr Geldof was there too, studiously ignored.  Although I took careful note of his shoes – boots, unlaced to the point of flappiness.  I can’t decide if I liked that look or not, but I am sure he didn’t care.